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It's Christmas Time

Like you can't get enough Christmas everywhere else, I'm bringing it too.

I'm kind of torn about holidays. I don't really like them (gasp!) but I do like getting extra time off. The whole Christmas thing seems to start earlier and earlier and that gets old. I do not want to hear Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Ugh. In fact, I don't think radio stations should devote their entire music list to Christmas tunes either. Maybe I'm a Scrooge, but I don't care.

In spite of my anti-holiday feelings, I bring you Christmas wonders from around the stores. This is one of the trees at Bass Pro Shops. Wouldn't every lucky little boy like to wake up with a four-wheeler under his tree? I couldn't care less about four-wheelers, but I thought the lights were pretty. The Christmas Wonderland behind the tree reminds me of what hell is probably like: screaming kids, "elves" on cell phones, and taxidermied caribou surrounded by fake snow. De-light-ful. Not.

This one is for my Canadian friends. I found this hat at Wal-Mart, the wonderful department store that carries all kinds of junk no one needs. I think the Merry Christmas, Eh! hat would get old pretty darn quick. Aside from that, I imagine people giving you stupid looks if you wore this... anywhere. My mom tells me I'm going to get head lice if I keep trying on hats. Nah.

And now I present your holiday shopping guide. Because every kid wants a booster seat that looks like a deathtrap. It's supposed to be Dora the Explorer, right? She looks more like an alien from outerspace than your friendly Spanish-speaking cartoon buddy. If I were a little kid, I would scream and cry (and probably find myself buckled into this monstrosity anyway) if my parents bought this for me.

This yard statue, I love. It's a bear that squished a gnome and it says Wipe Your Paws. I mean, whoever came up with this delved right into my mind, that part that appeals to the weird side of me and came up with a statue. I would so buy this if it wasn't $40 and you didn't have to weed eat around it.

Happy Holidays, y'all!


  1. Well, you know I'm right with ya sister since you read my blog. And that car seat is creepy. Looks like the cup holders could turn into really strong vise grips and snap the kids hands off.

  2. Or like it wants you to pick which one is poison. Surely little kids don't like that thing?


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